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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I can do this!

Today was a very good day. I saw at least 6 pregnant clients who all said they would give breastfeeding a try and one who said she defiantly would breastfeed. All said they want to attend a breastfeeding support group which we are getting ready for January. Now let me get to the most exciting part. How about I had a mom who has twins and have been bottle feeding them for a month. She has been pumping and giving them formula as well. She and her husband want to eliminate the bottles and asked me..wittle ole me...to help them!! I'M SO EXCITED and very Nervous at the same time. I also meet with a mom who had nipple damage and wants to start her baby back at the the breast as well. I feel honored and humbled that these moms are trusting me with helping them reestablish there breastfeeding relationship. This job had been a blessing for me and now its my time to get into action and give back to these moms. I would love any advise especially from moms breastfeeding twins or a mom of nipple damage. Also I tend to hit Twitter before blogging so catch me on there as I update what happens with these moms. ~toodles~

Friday, December 3, 2010

Its Against my Religion

Facebook got me fucked up. Maybe I'm just now seeing this or really paying any real attention till now. One of my friends Bday came up and I wanted to "send" them a gift. So after picking diamonds, flowers and chocolates...y'all asses had the fucking nerve to ask for my REAL LITERAL credit card information. Facebook, you really want real cash for "virtual" gifts...aka Fake gifts.....that the person will NEVER ACUTALLY, receive..just see on there page....a page y'all could delete any second cause y'all always changing the rules. Umm...NO! (FB) want people to pay with real money..Not! I don't get that all. I could understand maybe paying for some of the games..and that's a big MAYBE...but "gifts" aka FAKE...I don't think so...for one main reason I can tell you is ITS AGAINST MY RELIGION. That is all.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Muffin's purpose

I have been at work one month and 3 weeks. Time is moving right along and I wish I could slow it down. Working with moms everyday has been a wonderful experience. I especially love the moms who have never given breastfeeding any thought at all. There virgins minds are ripe for the picking. They are filled with tons of questions and need a listening ear. I've had a few who thought they had to drink milk to make milk...and since they didn't like milk, they couldn't breastfeed. So many myths and old school beliefs out there that you almost want to buy each mom a copy of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Now let's get to Muffins purpose. I feel Muffin was born with a purpose of more than bringing me unexpected joy, happiness and adding more love into our family unit....... BUT to be breastfeed and help me become a teacher to other moms. Muffin, mommy says thank you for learing how to breastfeed and being patient with me when I got frustrated and almost gave up. Yeah I know she can't read this right now and has no understanding of the benefits of breastfeeding except it comforts her and taste good. Basically if she wasn't born I would of never ever given breastfeeding a thought. Also big koodles to my girl Tina who was a big inspiration to me as well. She knew Muffins purpose to and I'm glad I had faith in all she (Tina) taught me. Well toodles for now got to nurse Muffin, she stirring and its almost 2am..her middle of the night snack. :-)

Friday, November 26, 2010

Why? (Venting)

Why is it people who shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen are ALWAYS offering a dish up for the holidays. *sigh* I know these are the things to expect when you choose to eat at familes. Okay so I always play it safe and make my bomb salad to bring. Tooting my own horn you may say...Hell yeah, LOL..it taste dam good. You betta ask somebody about my salad..LOL. I am a firm believer in don't try to cover the real goods of the meal if you just can't cook. Were do I start.....let's see.....Turkey dry and not a lick of season.......greens unseasoned (just cause you add a few pieces of meat in it don't count).....mac/cheese (was SUPPOSE to be made by granny, was made by auntie) soupy and gooey disaster!....SMH!..Now don't get me wrong, I ate the shit out that dinner. I was full as hell when I left. Hell I had starved myself all that day for that meal. However I straight paid for the sins of the fucked up cooks later that night. (Use ur imagination) There was redemption tho, the desserts were awesome. Granny makes a chocolate cake that has been known to cause riots when there wasn't any left. Oh and let's not forget the delish sweet potatoe pecan coconuts squares with the buttery graham cracker bottom. Oh, but wait, let me tell you one more thing. I don't who sneak in some ole BULLSHIT peach cobble! It was store bought and horrible. Why would someone disgrace such a wonderful dish. If u can't make the dam dish leave it alone. Don't go get some store bought mess. GRRR! Just Why? That's is all.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

What a Moring

Okay so....were do I start.....
Muffin slept in which was wonderful. I woke up when I felt her trying to get her nip and snuggled in closer. I'm thinking this is a good day. I shot out a few tweets and read some timelines.
In our wonderful warm bonding moment I started to smell only what could describe as hot garbage. I'm thinking... really, she still nursing....don't she know what she has done. I torn between unlatching her and changing her or letting her finish eating and we suffer the smell together.
Well, she was really eating and not pacifying herself as she does sometimes. Okay skip it...go on finish eating (with the thinking Ill just lay her and be back up to change her in 30min)...Because I still get sleepy when she nurses I ended up dozing. Bad idea. I woke up a hour later, Muffin was still sleep. I go to get up and I can see the smear of doo-doo up on her stomach.
Head to the bathroom and run her tub. I already knew that's mess was not wash up worthy. Then comes the hard part. How in the hell do I take the t-shirt off with out having doo-doo smudge her face and hair. *think quick* I just cut the t-shirt off. Yes I did. I wiped off as much as I could and got her in the tub. I breathed a sigh of relief and started to wash her up. Not even 5mintues in the clean up....I hear a bubble rumble...horrified..I think no....she wouldn't....I lift and yes she did....doo-doo in her bath water. HOLY SHYT I'm alone...I really needed some one to hold her while I dump water, cause now she dripping wet of shit. SMH...All the while Muffin is trying to grab the at the poop and fussing cause she can have it. So I just decide its do or die....I make a mad dash and put her in her bouncer she I'm sure is laced with pins, and glass cause she still screams bloody murder when goes in it. Sit her in front of the bathroom door and get the tub dumped and start running her bath. As the water is filling I decide to just wash her up while it filling so I can be done. Takes all of 15minutes to get her all cleaned up, greased up, and smelling good, dressed to the teeth with no were to go. Now she wide awoke...I'm starving and she is hungry too. Eggs, toast for Muffin and same thing for me just add sausage. Lesson for me.....if Muffin is sleep....she will be changed. That was just too much drama before 12noon.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Were they do that at?

Random as hell.....but....Some people are a trip. Plain as that. How you owe some1 some money and tell them when they ask for it back...you tell them.....they gonna get it....when you get around to it. WTF are you retarded!! WERE IS MY MACE. If it was me....he would be "retina free" right now. (that is all) ~drama@work~

Im here

I still don't believe I got the job. I would never, looking 4 kids back in my life would of thought that I would be a breastfeeding peer counselor for W.I.C.....let alone a breastfeeding mom. I got my job offer letter Monday around 5pm in my email and I didn't check my email till about 8pm sneaking and checking it at my current job. I could of stood up screaming and hollering but I don't think that would of been appropriate seeing as I was in the middle of taking calls. I have been thinking the direction this is going to take me in. I see this as a stepping stone to being a Lactation Consultant. Thinking back again...I had never even heard of a LC before last year. I like the fact that I will and must be available to moms at a moments notice who need breastfeeding support. Just a kind word of encouragement or heading out to see them and get them and there baby going. My goals is too remove the wrong stereotype that breastfeeding is nasty and hard to do.
True breastfeeding is not for everyone....but as long as I will be able to I will help the moms and the dads realize the joy and benefits of nursing there baby. Today as I headed in here to work I realize that I will be free of this and on to bigger and better things and a new career move. God looked out for me and my family by providing me with this job opportunity. I feel good right. I really do.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

It would Be Nice If...If I got the job

I am not someone you would call a complainer. However I am and have been yearning to find niche in life that I can say I truly love, that I am truly good at and could wake up wanting to do. Of course being a mom is the number one spot. My kids mean more to me than anything in this world. There is nothing I would not do for them within my power. What I was referring to was a job. I have worked in alot of different fields over the years. Some I have hated and some I have enjoyed but NONE I loved. I always go to work with a positive attitude cause I'm a firm believer in make the best of anything. A job is what supports the household and make the ends meet and I would never jeopardize losing the source that feeds, clothes, and house my family. However the more I think about the possibility I could be a breastfeeding peer counselor actually brings me Joy and LOVE. Literally. Even before I heard about this job I find it a JOY and LOVE to go to my breastfeeding support groups. They start at 6pm and I'm the one who is there at 515pm waiting. I wont find out till the weekend if I was picked for the position and of course the days are dragging. *sigh* okay let me go get ready to log into my shift and start work....LATERS!!!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Would Never of Thought In a Million Years

Looking back on the year and having Muffin, the very last of the crew, I never would of thought I would be a breastfeeding mom. Never would thought I would be advocating for breastfeeding. Never would I thought I would be applying to be a peer counselor to help other moms. My good friend Tina Larkins led me down a path I had tried to trot 3 previous kids back but gave up on in less than two weeks. Tina was very encouraging, inspiring and to have learned all she learned about breastfeeding on her own pretty much...that really moved me. I am up having some coffee and that thought just came over like dam, look at what feat I might accomplish today. *fingers crossed* Being able to show moms how to keep there baby immune system boosted and giving them natures home grown milk... verses man made milk with cows protein. *disclaimer* (I by no means have Ill will against formula, my 3 older kids had all formula and are healthy and good to go....and Muffin gets 6 to 12 oz of formula herself during my night shift from 6pm to 10pm, cause one I've never been a big fan of pumping*) Okay back to blog........I have started pumping. Still no fun but I made 2 bottles. Ya me. ;-) I will say the actual nursing of your baby is so much more comforting and easier to do. In my opinion. Plus the baby is the best pump. Had I got my breastfeeding established from day1....I would of never introduced a bottle or given her formula, but due to certain circumstances (*see Hybrid Baby pt1&2 blog) I didn't get help with nursing till she was around a month old. *thank you Linda at Sinai Grace Hospital and BLACK MOTHERS BREASTFEEDING ASSOCIATION, and espeically Renee from WIC & BMBFA* Basically I'm just super dooper proud of myself for being were I am with the whole breast is beast. I love knowing that I am helping her grow LITERALLY...from me. She loves mommies milk. I've just got done nursing her and she is off to sleep so I can get dressed for my interview. I totally hate looking for something to wear. I have a closet full of nothing. You what I mean? You see clothes but still have nothing to wear. *sigh* Oooh and how I hate ironing. Just blah at it all. Smh. I've decided on a ugly neat shirt and a simple can't go wrong pair of black pants. Gonna iron them and do a few hail marys over them and BAM...so it shall be worn. Oh yes did I mention my hair. Nevermind let's not speak of such things. Let's just say its neat as be and that is all. Well I'm off and wish me luck, okay. HOLLAAA!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Pet Peeves (Beware, I don't spell check & I cuss) ;-)

I just feel like fussing.... You don't mind do you....
I don't like it when my kids know its the last roll of tissue, use it down to the last friggin square and as soon as I gotta take a hellish poop I sit all the way down and there is no tissue...and then I hear, oh I forgot to tell you...and of course by this time its 11pm at night and so I'm forced to use a dam baby wipe...GRRRRR
I don't like it when someone has to ALWAYS have a right answer to ANY question....and is ALWAYS itching for a debate (please sit your ass down and shut the fuck up)
I don't like it when because we have differences (not even arguements just we don't totally relate, but I thought we both were cool peeps) you wanna cut me off as if its your way or the highway...smh...like me for me, I like you for you
I don't like it when my grandma (bless her heart) gets off in my buisness...calling me with dumb shit early in the moring asking me did I get the kids up for school, or reminding me to "be careful"...but don't tell me to be careful of what....I'm growner (yes I said growner) then a motherfucka...believe that....and that goes for all nosey meddlesome family memebers...
I don't like reminding a 8,15,17yr old to clean up there rooms and do there chours.....(if they can facebook,text,watch tv without being told than dammit GET YOUR CHOURS DONE!) That's a mommy rant
I don't like people who drive with the signal on and never get over. Just a driving they ass off. GET THE FUCK FROM IN FRONT OF ME!  WTF!!! I just want to friggin mace the shyt out of you YOU!
I don't like negative people who fake like they happy for you. BYE HATER!
I don't like it when any ole body think that they can just up and touch and try to hold Muffin or even fucking kiss her when we out in public or somewhere!! I had someone actually reach for her and started removing her from my arms. WTF?! GET YA GOTDAM DICKBEATERS OFF Muffin, or Ill fucking mace you in the retinas.!! Please&Thank you.
I don't like it when there's a family function or get together and you have that one person who thinks they can cook, but can't cook worth shit...and always making a whole pot of NOTHING...AND get offended cause they food still there at the end. Just bring pop and cups. Please and thank you.
Well I could go on....but would love to hear about your pet peeves/I don't like it when....

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I'm your Mama FIRST...then your Friend

If you have a teen or a tween than you understand were I'm coming from. I always have believed that in order for a child to respect you, from the beginning your child MUST know his role, and that's that you are the parent and make the rules with fairness and loving concern on there part. I don't play that shit of saying one thing and doing another. If I say NO its NO. If I say maybe and give you alternatives that you must follow in order to get to a "yes" out of me than you must do that. Children need to understand that rules are in place to protect them not to make life miserable and boring. Also children must realize what goes on in your household may not always be what's going in their friends household. All parents have there style idea of parenting. Some or strict and some are liberal and some don't have any rules what so ever. That is all fine. There is no handbook written that we as parents were given with a yellow highlighter to mark "keypoints"...most of us follow from our parents or someone they were parented by. Me personally am strict but I feel its done with loving care because I want my kids to understand that what they do NOW as children and young adults will FOLLOW them into adult hood. Wild child equals wild grown up. Umm....let me see.....NO I don't think so. I don't know if its just me, but when I send my kids to school or around some there friends, when my kids come home they almost need to be "reprogramed." I don't let my kids go ANYWHERE they want ANYTIME, they want and with WHOEVER, they want, and NO they can't have just any random kid spending the night and NO they can't just spend the night over there "friend" house cause that's they friend. See I'm the mama that want to meet the parent/parents and go into the home of the kids house MY kids are visiting...just to give see what environment my child will be in. I don't mind any childs parent who visit my home to just drop they kids off...I welcome you into my home. See how I live.....not because you being nosey BUT because you want to be sure your child is in a safe enviroment AND god forbid something happen, don't you want to be able to say to to police what I look like, what I drive, details about my house ect.....I sure as hell want to know those things, cause my kids are my babies (yeah I know only muffin is actually the baby, but my bigger kids are still my babies so jus hush *smile* ) I FUCKING LOVE EM! So please a mama/dad FIRST to your kids.....if they get mad, so what, you the parent run that household and they will be able to tell you love them even thru the discipline.  P.S.A... this blog was inspired due a 15yr old I LOVE to pieces but wanna go and throat chop. I'm just saying.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

What works best in your household (Discipline)

Y'all know I love me some Walmart. I went there to grab a few items for muffin and afew household items. I know kids will be kids and whine, ect. So dont get me wrong, I by no means birthed saints but my kids don't cut up in public on the level I saw today. This mother was there with a baby about 6 to 9months in a carseat and she had 2 small kids girl/boy ages 3 to 6yrs. No matter what she said to the those little kids they ran aisles away from her. Just acted a fool. They pulled clothes off the racks and snatched and pulled at her buggy shaking the baby many times. Last but not least, they were hitting and kicking there mother when she tried to grab them to keep them near. This mother appeared to be shopping alone. At least while I was looking no one ever came to her. I didn't understand her with all the "stop that", "no, come here, RIGHT NOW", "don't make me come get you", "wait till we get home", "WHAT DID I SAY", she kept saying those things and not exactly in that order. Couldn't of been me, Ill tell ya that much. I don't play that shit. Now I don't know about you, but in my house a spanking can have your name written on it personally. Many of us was raised different. Some of us the had a "time-out" discipline only parents.....and others had "the wood-shed" discipline parents.....I'm no expert but I'm pretty dam good at being a mother and using good judgement as to what discipline fit the "crime" so to speak. Cause spanking is not the answer to all behaviour. Time out does work...taking things away does work and restrictions of that nature *disclaimer* (kids are no criminals, LOL) I remember keeping a thin ruler around to tap up hands in a mintue of my misbehaving kids. The ruler was always the LAST resort. Never first choice. I give my kids ample warning for misbehaving. I feel teaching your children starts at home. Its no fucking way toddlers should be comfortable enough to kick the shit out there parent. I feel my kids have a healthy fear of me...NOT fear for their lives, not fear in the since of being scard of me, but a fear of disappointing me, and fear of consequences when you disobey. Some will say I was not raised the "wood-shed" and I don't believe in spanking. So I know some of you are going to blast me, and that's okay too. Opinions make the world go round. Me personally, I'm for a tanning of the hyde, and those lil boogars at walmart would of got it if they was mine, I'm so fucking serious. SMH. I felt so deeply embarrassed for her. However to each there own method of discipline and what works best in your household.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hybrid Baby (continued)

........she seemed a lil irritated like I may have been buggin her. Had I not been on pain meds her ass would of been cussed the hell out. (I'm just saying) so I brused the vibe off and got in a nap. Muffin woke up hungry like a typical newborn and again struggled at the breast. I was finally given a pump and just in time my breast were starting to hurt. I pumped the liquid gold, as it were...and bottle feed her that. I say this that pumping is not my favorite thing. I straight up felt like a gosh darn cow! I just needed to say mooo! Okay so now its day 3 still no LC.....Can you say FUCKING FRUSTRATED!!..yeah that was me. Muffin's dad, with his bitch ass (yes you Johnnie) was not supportive. He worried about his mouth on my tits....BOY BYE!! NOT!! He haven't laid eyes on these boobages since January, and neva will! (Ooooh, bless my heart that's a whole 'nother blog in itself) back to story.....So now its day 4 andshe still fussing at the breast nipple latching only, mouth not opening wide like she should and yet again more I'm pumping and using formula...I used the formula because I thought my baby was starving with just the lil ounce of colostrum and of since no one was guiding me I went with what I thought was a sound decison. The WIC ladie who came to my room, signed me up asked was I breastfeeding and I said, by the hairs of my chinny chin chin...she laughed it off and said the LC's are backed up and the ladie at WIC office I had been calling for a month has been bogged down, I felt brushed the fuck off AGAIN. So I got my WIC package with Enfamil A.R (it has rice starch in it) and keep it moving, ....shoot, by then I was aggrevated as hell. I got to my discharge class and low and behold it was given by the LC. I said hey ladie, I been asking for you for 4 days.  She said I don't have you on my list. She pulled out a paper asked me my room number and confrimed I wasn't on it. Well ain't that a bitch. I had been asking them stupid as nursed to get her *sidenote* (the nurses I delt with are no reflection on every nurse, I know there are good nurses out there, I jus delt with some asshole...and that's how I feel) I said I want to breastfeed. It was as if a load was off my breast..I mean back. She gave me a quick lesson on the spot 20min before the class started and muffin true to form didn't get it. So she gave me her cell and email and promised to do a home visit later that day but no later than the next day. I felt confident and trusted her word. That next day she (LC) called, she had a family emergency and had to leave town. I was disappointed but for some reason I wasn't mad at her. You know why,.... she didn't brush me off, she told the truth. So two weeks pass and me and Linda (LC) starting meeting up. I meet with her 1hour almost everyday to get us breastfeeding. Yes I was pumping but because I was not pumping regular (reason....single mom, dead of winter with 3 school age kids who went to two different schools and even at week old I was up in the snow getting kids to and from school, making sure there was dinner and clean clothes and assisting with homework, somedays pumping was out the window) and we struggled so much with nursing I believe that why my milk supply dwindled. The visits were tough for awhile. My LC would strap me in the MyBreastFriend (gosh iloved that) and have me take off my shirt, strip Muffin down to her diaper and put her to the breast. My baby enjoyed the closeness of our skin but she was not breastfully happy...*um,nope that might not be a word, but in my blog..it is* My LC would put formula on my breast which help her latch but she would only stay on 2mintues then come off screaming....we did the off and on, for days...yes I practiced at home and I felt glad each time she latched on even for those 5mintues. Over the next week and a half I found BlackMothersBreastfeeding and there peer counsler form the meeting meet with me at home and helped me out. She asked me had I tried a nipple shield. A nipple shield?...I immediatly envisoned a metal contraption across my boobs and muffin wearing the silence of the lambs mask...um don't ask....but I went out and got one from Meijer and tried it and how about them apples...muffin nursed....she nursed 20mintues. Whaaaa.....get outta here....a nipple shield....really?....wow I was geeked up. I went to my next appt with my LC and told her about the nipple shield. She said, I didn't bring up the nipple shield cause those tend to cause added problems when you try to wean them off the sheilds but she was glad I had gotten better at nursing muffin. I felt in 3weeks me and muffin, had did the dam thang, LOL. *sidenote* I did mention to you, I'm not a professional blogger, I write how I'm feeling as it flows.* I continued to pump and was disappointed to only make 4oz between both breast. I see now why not introducing a bottle into a breastfeeding relationship is cruical for your milk supply. So.......you may ask....why not just say be done with breastfeeding if your only making 4oz between both breast......well......I for some reason think muffin may suck more than for 4oz when at my breast....she sometimes has moments were she don't seem satisfied...so I offer her formula and she takes till she full. Then there are times when she cries for the breast...tugging at my shirt and refusing a bottle. Then she burps and a tiny bit of mamas milk comes out. I'm a firm believer in some breast milk is better than none. I still get that tingly feeling when I'm at work and my boobs know muffin is missing in action and on my off days there are no bottles those I end up nursing her almost 8times plus and at night after 7pm there is no bottles on my work days....so I know I'm making milk and making just enough for muffin, regardless that I can't be formula free. So that is the story of my HYBRID BABY.

My Hybrid-Baby

I never in a million years thought I would be 36 and have a 7month old baby. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be so passionate about breastfeeding way before my muffin was born. All of three of my older kids were fomula feed. They were all on ProSobee...threw up the Enfamil left and right. With my oldest who is 17...I tried to breastfeed him...it only lasted 2weeks and maybe out of that two weeks a straight 3days...my 15yr old I again tried for 2 weeks and it was a very flighty effort.....with my 8yr old 2weeks again. I can vivdly remember everyone dissing breastfeeding and being negative. Young minded, I didn't try to reasearch anything on breastfeeding. In the hosptial with each of my previous births the nurses weren't pushing the breastfeeding either. I heard get your rest here's a bottle some daddy can feed the baby while you sleep....shame on them now that I think back on it.....jumping to 2010, my good friend Tina who is 27 had, had her first baby and exclusively breastfeed for 8months then hand expressed every bottle when she returned back to work. I was IMPRESSED. She use to say, girl jus try it...its so much healthier and the bonding and closeness contributes to the babies growth and health as well. *sidenote* my 3 formula babies and me had a wonderful bond as well, I never propped a bottle and left my baby alone to feed. I always enjoyed there snuggling against me and playing in there hair. So I don't take her statement as to make me think a formula feed baby won't bond and feel the closeness. *end sidenote* So as I got futher along in my pregnancy I found out another good friend of mine name Mishy was preggors and this was her first and she was going exclusively breastfeed as well. I was more excited because I had not seen any black woman breastfeeding or even heard of any black woman breastfeeding.  So on my next WIC appt I asked about breastfeeding and would there be someone available to assit me should I have questions. They assured me and gave me the number of the breastfeeding advocate to call. Around my 8month I called her so that I could get with her and do whatever was needed to be prepared. Considering I was going to be a new mom to breastfeeding I thought I had to "prepare" or something. I remember buying disposable breastpads, cream for the just incase tender nipples. I was blessed with a double breast pump, and I'm forever thankful to her for that. Now let's fast forward to delievery day. I have muffin and she checked over and weighed and I remember thru the haze I said more than once I want to breastfeed and I was nervous...let the lactation consultant know I neededher. After a few mintues they hand her me, and of course I'm shocked and amazed at how precious and beautiful she was and that I was determined to be the only sole source of nourishment she would get for about 12months..( I know your saying, good grief woman she was baby #4, well each birth is always unique and new and still very much overwhelming) okay back to story....so I put her to my breast and she totally hurt my nipple cause she was on wrong as hell. Of course I wasn't sure of what I was doing...all the youtube videos I watched did not ring a bell. I got the nurse and told her I was having trouble....she dismissed me with jus keep at and you will get it, Ill let the LC know you need her. Well that night came and no LC and her dad was like she hungry you gotta feed her, so I gave her a bottle. I got the nurse again who said the LC is coming. She seemed

Thats Muffin!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I'm not even gonna lie

I am happy as shit the kids are back in school. WHOO HOO! You talking bout being able to run around nakid and scare my neighboors....not hearing the whinein and bickering....not hearing the "get out my room", "you shut up", "you ain't nobodys mama"......not hearing my front door open and close all dam day.....not cussing they ass out for standing in the fridge holding the door open and just looking in it every 10 mintues....not saying quiet it down I just got Muffin to sleep, or to hear that fucking 'geetar heerooo' (I know how its spelled dammit) blasting and then Muffin sqwak. Bless my heart.....PEACE AT LAST PEACE AT LAST.

This DogFood is Wonderful

Wanna try a quick delish recipe for yourself or family?.......
2lbs Tky
2blocks of cream cheese *softened*
2packets of dry onion soup mix
Shredded cheese moz/cheddar to taste
Bag of tortilla chips
Casserole dish
*prheat oven to 400*
*brown Tky till done, drain any grease
*in a bowl place both blocks of cream cheese, and sprinkle dry onion soup mix over the crm cheese...
*then add grd Tky and mix
*spread mixture into casserole dish sprinkle as lil or as much cheese over mixture....just bake till cheese is gooey......serve with chips
YUM YUM
*If you happen to make this please let me know how it turned out.    *thumbs up/thumbs down*

GTFOH with that Dumb Shyt

Okay so you(babydaddy) call and say why I didn't call him and (our daughter) over.....well for one, you flake ass bitch....I don't have to call you about coming to see your fucking daughter. You are the absent parent....YOU have to call ME and make a way to be your child. You have to put forth the effort. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU(babydaddy) tell our daughter "mama didn't call so I didn't come see you"...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I just despise men who play games with there own kids. But fortunate for me I talk frankly with my daughter and she knew the game he was playing. Its just sad that some men are wimps and pussies when come down to being a parents. Me and her dad seperated the day I found him to be a cheat and a liar 5yrs ago and I have not one time ever slept with him or tried to reconcile. I do the back in forth shyt. When its over, its over. I have only tried to make sure he has my updated information so when he choose to he can be apart of his childs life. Other than that I DONT FUCK WITH DAT MOTHAFUCKA...PERIOD....  I'm just PISSED at the stunt he tried to pull today. SMH!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I am so sorry.....

I work for a fundraising company and enjoy the work I do when we call for donations for vets, any forms of cancer, spinal cord injuries ect. However the job has been a slap in my face. You may say, what do you mean. Well imma be honest, I hate telemarkers....they call all day everyday...even if truely they are all different callers they all sound the same asking for money. Well I use to LIVE for the "CUSS A MOTHERFUCKKA OUT" the moment a telemarketer rang my phone on some ole bullshyt.....but alas....Had I just maybe once closed my dam mouth and jus heard them out and was a little polite even IF I was not gonna donate the meaness and the nasty attitude was not needed. True the calls come at inconvenient times most of the time, but they are just doing there job. *I never thought Id say that before* That's how they feed there family. Yes when you tell them no, your not interested...yeah there gonna try to overcome that "no" to get the donation but they mean no harm. All the cussing or simply hanging up in they face is just mean. HOWEVER....there are a few telemarketers who are fucking rude over aggressive and down right disrespectful and yes mama imma continue to cuss those particular mothafucking asses out! BELIEVE THAT! Lemme give you a few examples of what I have been thru jus today.....Good Moring I'm calling on behalf of "such&such"...responses.....Bitch, I ain't got no money......Don't call here mothafucka......Suck my dick....my wallet got cancer.....my wallet paralized....my wallet wanna make a mothafucking wish, can you do that?....those are just a few....not including the flat out hangups immediatley after hello or dead in the middle of the pitch or lie and say they will donate, get transfered to the processing center and then "fuck you I ain't donating shyt"....SMH....Karma maybe for my many years of hangups and cuss outs?.....maybe....or is this just what a telemarketer learns to deal with, it comes with the territory....I think a lil bit of both. Well if I happen to call you, I guess Ill just have to wait and see.
*disclaimer*
I don't use spell check, I'm just saying

A lil something-something

Hey, so I finally have started blogging. I read a lot of blogs (I plan to start following some blogs too) and still marvel at how they find the time to keep there blogs going and still keep there household going. *cause some of y'all blog alot*  Well after I sat down and was about to send a tweet to Twitter I said hey, let me blog a little. As I'm typing this from my cell phone I realize I kinda dig this bloggin thang. (Yes, bless ya heart if you follow my blog I am grammer challenged)..... so wow were do I start....Ill start by giving you a lil background...I'm 36 born Jan10. I was raised Jehovah's Witness (never baptized) other wise I would be disfellowshipped cause I would be considered wordly and no one in that religion would be allowed to talk to me, period. My mama whom I am a only child too is distant from me in order to keep her spirtuality as it were. I still love her and she still loves me but we aren't close as we should be and for that reason, if its one religion I'm not very fond of (tho I believe a few of there teaching) I don't ever see me being a member of. *enough of that* Anywhoo...I have 4 wonderful kids whom there dna donors in there lives like a few annoying gnats. I was not in hit or miss relationships with there father. I was. In 6 and 7yr relationships, then BOOM, they got retarded and became deadbeat dads. Raising 4kids as single parent is not easy. I won't even try to pretend. Many days of how, who, what, when, if, maybe, I don't know's... went answered, unanswered, or answered late. I even had a moment in my life were I found myself pregnant with my 3rd child and put the child up for adoption....I didn't really in my hearts of hearts want to do that but at the time I actually thought that was the best decsion. So I actually had handed my child of at the hospital to the new parents and left the hospital empty handed. (I don't know how I recovered from that) The decison to adopt was made under stress and with NO family support. NEVER MAKE SUCH LIFE CHANGING DECISONS ALONE. Well, she was gone for awhile and then I got a call from the lawyer that the offical termination of parental rights paper work was lost. They could not proceed with the interstate adoption until I RESIGNED the papers OR they family would have to bring my baby back IMMEDIATELY. Oh my FUCKING GOD...I was out done...I could not go thru that again. I just feel to the floor and drop the phone, I was a mess. Then I called my family who was LIVID...(like I said don't do life changing things without talking to family it truly does affect everyone) I called my babys father who was PISSED at me for going thru with the adoption, he really didn't want to do it in the first place but he said it was my decison. I instantly thought of the new family who had bonded with there baby and named her and introduced her to her new family...I could only imagine there fear, distress and scard feeling they had of losing there new baby. But I wanted MY baby, I should of NEVER let her go. So decision was made. I called the lawyer and he gave me the time and place to go get my baby. I don't think I have to tell you how devasating the meeting was talking thru tears and packing all the baby stuff up they had bought and let me have. The family hugged me and told me they understood and wished me well. (Godbless them for there strength, they were wonderful people and yes I heard they had a adoption sucess down the road) That experience taught me, that maybe fate knew I didn't want to give up my baby. I have always wondered about how the paper work was "lost". It was sealed and place in the mail before my eyes. I knew when I left that hospital I would never see my baby again. Yet 8yrs later she is here being a pest to her brother and sisters. ;-)Well I guess blogging might be my thing after all, look I've dam near wrote a book. Well if you decide to follow my beware....I am random, off topic, never in order, and funny, and well....jus me.