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Sunday, August 29, 2010

What works best in your household (Discipline)

Y'all know I love me some Walmart. I went there to grab a few items for muffin and afew household items. I know kids will be kids and whine, ect. So dont get me wrong, I by no means birthed saints but my kids don't cut up in public on the level I saw today. This mother was there with a baby about 6 to 9months in a carseat and she had 2 small kids girl/boy ages 3 to 6yrs. No matter what she said to the those little kids they ran aisles away from her. Just acted a fool. They pulled clothes off the racks and snatched and pulled at her buggy shaking the baby many times. Last but not least, they were hitting and kicking there mother when she tried to grab them to keep them near. This mother appeared to be shopping alone. At least while I was looking no one ever came to her. I didn't understand her with all the "stop that", "no, come here, RIGHT NOW", "don't make me come get you", "wait till we get home", "WHAT DID I SAY", she kept saying those things and not exactly in that order. Couldn't of been me, Ill tell ya that much. I don't play that shit. Now I don't know about you, but in my house a spanking can have your name written on it personally. Many of us was raised different. Some of us the had a "time-out" discipline only parents.....and others had "the wood-shed" discipline parents.....I'm no expert but I'm pretty dam good at being a mother and using good judgement as to what discipline fit the "crime" so to speak. Cause spanking is not the answer to all behaviour. Time out does work...taking things away does work and restrictions of that nature *disclaimer* (kids are no criminals, LOL) I remember keeping a thin ruler around to tap up hands in a mintue of my misbehaving kids. The ruler was always the LAST resort. Never first choice. I give my kids ample warning for misbehaving. I feel teaching your children starts at home. Its no fucking way toddlers should be comfortable enough to kick the shit out there parent. I feel my kids have a healthy fear of me...NOT fear for their lives, not fear in the since of being scard of me, but a fear of disappointing me, and fear of consequences when you disobey. Some will say I was not raised the "wood-shed" and I don't believe in spanking. So I know some of you are going to blast me, and that's okay too. Opinions make the world go round. Me personally, I'm for a tanning of the hyde, and those lil boogars at walmart would of got it if they was mine, I'm so fucking serious. SMH. I felt so deeply embarrassed for her. However to each there own method of discipline and what works best in your household.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hybrid Baby (continued)

........she seemed a lil irritated like I may have been buggin her. Had I not been on pain meds her ass would of been cussed the hell out. (I'm just saying) so I brused the vibe off and got in a nap. Muffin woke up hungry like a typical newborn and again struggled at the breast. I was finally given a pump and just in time my breast were starting to hurt. I pumped the liquid gold, as it were...and bottle feed her that. I say this that pumping is not my favorite thing. I straight up felt like a gosh darn cow! I just needed to say mooo! Okay so now its day 3 still no LC.....Can you say FUCKING FRUSTRATED!!..yeah that was me. Muffin's dad, with his bitch ass (yes you Johnnie) was not supportive. He worried about his mouth on my tits....BOY BYE!! NOT!! He haven't laid eyes on these boobages since January, and neva will! (Ooooh, bless my heart that's a whole 'nother blog in itself) back to story.....So now its day 4 andshe still fussing at the breast nipple latching only, mouth not opening wide like she should and yet again more I'm pumping and using formula...I used the formula because I thought my baby was starving with just the lil ounce of colostrum and of since no one was guiding me I went with what I thought was a sound decison. The WIC ladie who came to my room, signed me up asked was I breastfeeding and I said, by the hairs of my chinny chin chin...she laughed it off and said the LC's are backed up and the ladie at WIC office I had been calling for a month has been bogged down, I felt brushed the fuck off AGAIN. So I got my WIC package with Enfamil A.R (it has rice starch in it) and keep it moving, ....shoot, by then I was aggrevated as hell. I got to my discharge class and low and behold it was given by the LC. I said hey ladie, I been asking for you for 4 days.  She said I don't have you on my list. She pulled out a paper asked me my room number and confrimed I wasn't on it. Well ain't that a bitch. I had been asking them stupid as nursed to get her *sidenote* (the nurses I delt with are no reflection on every nurse, I know there are good nurses out there, I jus delt with some asshole...and that's how I feel) I said I want to breastfeed. It was as if a load was off my breast..I mean back. She gave me a quick lesson on the spot 20min before the class started and muffin true to form didn't get it. So she gave me her cell and email and promised to do a home visit later that day but no later than the next day. I felt confident and trusted her word. That next day she (LC) called, she had a family emergency and had to leave town. I was disappointed but for some reason I wasn't mad at her. You know why,.... she didn't brush me off, she told the truth. So two weeks pass and me and Linda (LC) starting meeting up. I meet with her 1hour almost everyday to get us breastfeeding. Yes I was pumping but because I was not pumping regular (reason....single mom, dead of winter with 3 school age kids who went to two different schools and even at week old I was up in the snow getting kids to and from school, making sure there was dinner and clean clothes and assisting with homework, somedays pumping was out the window) and we struggled so much with nursing I believe that why my milk supply dwindled. The visits were tough for awhile. My LC would strap me in the MyBreastFriend (gosh iloved that) and have me take off my shirt, strip Muffin down to her diaper and put her to the breast. My baby enjoyed the closeness of our skin but she was not breastfully happy...*um,nope that might not be a word, but in my is* My LC would put formula on my breast which help her latch but she would only stay on 2mintues then come off screaming....we did the off and on, for days...yes I practiced at home and I felt glad each time she latched on even for those 5mintues. Over the next week and a half I found BlackMothersBreastfeeding and there peer counsler form the meeting meet with me at home and helped me out. She asked me had I tried a nipple shield. A nipple shield?...I immediatly envisoned a metal contraption across my boobs and muffin wearing the silence of the lambs don't ask....but I went out and got one from Meijer and tried it and how about them apples...muffin nursed....she nursed 20mintues. Whaaaa.....get outta here....a nipple shield....really? I was geeked up. I went to my next appt with my LC and told her about the nipple shield. She said, I didn't bring up the nipple shield cause those tend to cause added problems when you try to wean them off the sheilds but she was glad I had gotten better at nursing muffin. I felt in 3weeks me and muffin, had did the dam thang, LOL. *sidenote* I did mention to you, I'm not a professional blogger, I write how I'm feeling as it flows.* I continued to pump and was disappointed to only make 4oz between both breast. I see now why not introducing a bottle into a breastfeeding relationship is cruical for your milk supply. may ask....why not just say be done with breastfeeding if your only making 4oz between both breast......well......I for some reason think muffin may suck more than for 4oz when at my breast....she sometimes has moments were she don't seem I offer her formula and she takes till she full. Then there are times when she cries for the breast...tugging at my shirt and refusing a bottle. Then she burps and a tiny bit of mamas milk comes out. I'm a firm believer in some breast milk is better than none. I still get that tingly feeling when I'm at work and my boobs know muffin is missing in action and on my off days there are no bottles those I end up nursing her almost 8times plus and at night after 7pm there is no bottles on my work I know I'm making milk and making just enough for muffin, regardless that I can't be formula free. So that is the story of my HYBRID BABY.

My Hybrid-Baby

I never in a million years thought I would be 36 and have a 7month old baby. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be so passionate about breastfeeding way before my muffin was born. All of three of my older kids were fomula feed. They were all on ProSobee...threw up the Enfamil left and right. With my oldest who is 17...I tried to breastfeed only lasted 2weeks and maybe out of that two weeks a straight 15yr old I again tried for 2 weeks and it was a very flighty effort.....with my 8yr old 2weeks again. I can vivdly remember everyone dissing breastfeeding and being negative. Young minded, I didn't try to reasearch anything on breastfeeding. In the hosptial with each of my previous births the nurses weren't pushing the breastfeeding either. I heard get your rest here's a bottle some daddy can feed the baby while you sleep....shame on them now that I think back on it.....jumping to 2010, my good friend Tina who is 27 had, had her first baby and exclusively breastfeed for 8months then hand expressed every bottle when she returned back to work. I was IMPRESSED. She use to say, girl jus try it...its so much healthier and the bonding and closeness contributes to the babies growth and health as well. *sidenote* my 3 formula babies and me had a wonderful bond as well, I never propped a bottle and left my baby alone to feed. I always enjoyed there snuggling against me and playing in there hair. So I don't take her statement as to make me think a formula feed baby won't bond and feel the closeness. *end sidenote* So as I got futher along in my pregnancy I found out another good friend of mine name Mishy was preggors and this was her first and she was going exclusively breastfeed as well. I was more excited because I had not seen any black woman breastfeeding or even heard of any black woman breastfeeding.  So on my next WIC appt I asked about breastfeeding and would there be someone available to assit me should I have questions. They assured me and gave me the number of the breastfeeding advocate to call. Around my 8month I called her so that I could get with her and do whatever was needed to be prepared. Considering I was going to be a new mom to breastfeeding I thought I had to "prepare" or something. I remember buying disposable breastpads, cream for the just incase tender nipples. I was blessed with a double breast pump, and I'm forever thankful to her for that. Now let's fast forward to delievery day. I have muffin and she checked over and weighed and I remember thru the haze I said more than once I want to breastfeed and I was nervous...let the lactation consultant know I neededher. After a few mintues they hand her me, and of course I'm shocked and amazed at how precious and beautiful she was and that I was determined to be the only sole source of nourishment she would get for about 12months..( I know your saying, good grief woman she was baby #4, well each birth is always unique and new and still very much overwhelming) okay back to I put her to my breast and she totally hurt my nipple cause she was on wrong as hell. Of course I wasn't sure of what I was doing...all the youtube videos I watched did not ring a bell. I got the nurse and told her I was having trouble....she dismissed me with jus keep at and you will get it, Ill let the LC know you need her. Well that night came and no LC and her dad was like she hungry you gotta feed her, so I gave her a bottle. I got the nurse again who said the LC is coming. She seemed

Thats Muffin!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I'm not even gonna lie

I am happy as shit the kids are back in school. WHOO HOO! You talking bout being able to run around nakid and scare my neighboors....not hearing the whinein and bickering....not hearing the "get out my room", "you shut up", "you ain't nobodys mama"......not hearing my front door open and close all dam day.....not cussing they ass out for standing in the fridge holding the door open and just looking in it every 10 mintues....not saying quiet it down I just got Muffin to sleep, or to hear that fucking 'geetar heerooo' (I know how its spelled dammit) blasting and then Muffin sqwak. Bless my heart.....PEACE AT LAST PEACE AT LAST.

This DogFood is Wonderful

Wanna try a quick delish recipe for yourself or family?.......
2lbs Tky
2blocks of cream cheese *softened*
2packets of dry onion soup mix
Shredded cheese moz/cheddar to taste
Bag of tortilla chips
Casserole dish
*prheat oven to 400*
*brown Tky till done, drain any grease
*in a bowl place both blocks of cream cheese, and sprinkle dry onion soup mix over the crm cheese...
*then add grd Tky and mix
*spread mixture into casserole dish sprinkle as lil or as much cheese over mixture....just bake till cheese is gooey......serve with chips
*If you happen to make this please let me know how it turned out.    *thumbs up/thumbs down*

GTFOH with that Dumb Shyt

Okay so you(babydaddy) call and say why I didn't call him and (our daughter) over.....well for one, you flake ass bitch....I don't have to call you about coming to see your fucking daughter. You are the absent parent....YOU have to call ME and make a way to be your child. You have to put forth the effort. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU(babydaddy) tell our daughter "mama didn't call so I didn't come see you"...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I just despise men who play games with there own kids. But fortunate for me I talk frankly with my daughter and she knew the game he was playing. Its just sad that some men are wimps and pussies when come down to being a parents. Me and her dad seperated the day I found him to be a cheat and a liar 5yrs ago and I have not one time ever slept with him or tried to reconcile. I do the back in forth shyt. When its over, its over. I have only tried to make sure he has my updated information so when he choose to he can be apart of his childs life. Other than that I DONT FUCK WITH DAT MOTHAFUCKA...PERIOD....  I'm just PISSED at the stunt he tried to pull today. SMH!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I am so sorry.....

I work for a fundraising company and enjoy the work I do when we call for donations for vets, any forms of cancer, spinal cord injuries ect. However the job has been a slap in my face. You may say, what do you mean. Well imma be honest, I hate telemarkers....they call all day everyday...even if truely they are all different callers they all sound the same asking for money. Well I use to LIVE for the "CUSS A MOTHERFUCKKA OUT" the moment a telemarketer rang my phone on some ole bullshyt.....but alas....Had I just maybe once closed my dam mouth and jus heard them out and was a little polite even IF I was not gonna donate the meaness and the nasty attitude was not needed. True the calls come at inconvenient times most of the time, but they are just doing there job. *I never thought Id say that before* That's how they feed there family. Yes when you tell them no, your not interested...yeah there gonna try to overcome that "no" to get the donation but they mean no harm. All the cussing or simply hanging up in they face is just mean. HOWEVER....there are a few telemarketers who are fucking rude over aggressive and down right disrespectful and yes mama imma continue to cuss those particular mothafucking asses out! BELIEVE THAT! Lemme give you a few examples of what I have been thru jus today.....Good Moring I'm calling on behalf of "such&such"...responses.....Bitch, I ain't got no money......Don't call here mothafucka......Suck my wallet got wallet wallet wanna make a mothafucking wish, can you do that?....those are just a few....not including the flat out hangups immediatley after hello or dead in the middle of the pitch or lie and say they will donate, get transfered to the processing center and then "fuck you I ain't donating shyt"....SMH....Karma maybe for my many years of hangups and cuss outs?.....maybe....or is this just what a telemarketer learns to deal with, it comes with the territory....I think a lil bit of both. Well if I happen to call you, I guess Ill just have to wait and see.
I don't use spell check, I'm just saying

A lil something-something

Hey, so I finally have started blogging. I read a lot of blogs (I plan to start following some blogs too) and still marvel at how they find the time to keep there blogs going and still keep there household going. *cause some of y'all blog alot*  Well after I sat down and was about to send a tweet to Twitter I said hey, let me blog a little. As I'm typing this from my cell phone I realize I kinda dig this bloggin thang. (Yes, bless ya heart if you follow my blog I am grammer challenged)..... so wow were do I start....Ill start by giving you a lil background...I'm 36 born Jan10. I was raised Jehovah's Witness (never baptized) other wise I would be disfellowshipped cause I would be considered wordly and no one in that religion would be allowed to talk to me, period. My mama whom I am a only child too is distant from me in order to keep her spirtuality as it were. I still love her and she still loves me but we aren't close as we should be and for that reason, if its one religion I'm not very fond of (tho I believe a few of there teaching) I don't ever see me being a member of. *enough of that* Anywhoo...I have 4 wonderful kids whom there dna donors in there lives like a few annoying gnats. I was not in hit or miss relationships with there father. I was. In 6 and 7yr relationships, then BOOM, they got retarded and became deadbeat dads. Raising 4kids as single parent is not easy. I won't even try to pretend. Many days of how, who, what, when, if, maybe, I don't know's... went answered, unanswered, or answered late. I even had a moment in my life were I found myself pregnant with my 3rd child and put the child up for adoption....I didn't really in my hearts of hearts want to do that but at the time I actually thought that was the best decsion. So I actually had handed my child of at the hospital to the new parents and left the hospital empty handed. (I don't know how I recovered from that) The decison to adopt was made under stress and with NO family support. NEVER MAKE SUCH LIFE CHANGING DECISONS ALONE. Well, she was gone for awhile and then I got a call from the lawyer that the offical termination of parental rights paper work was lost. They could not proceed with the interstate adoption until I RESIGNED the papers OR they family would have to bring my baby back IMMEDIATELY. Oh my FUCKING GOD...I was out done...I could not go thru that again. I just feel to the floor and drop the phone, I was a mess. Then I called my family who was LIVID...(like I said don't do life changing things without talking to family it truly does affect everyone) I called my babys father who was PISSED at me for going thru with the adoption, he really didn't want to do it in the first place but he said it was my decison. I instantly thought of the new family who had bonded with there baby and named her and introduced her to her new family...I could only imagine there fear, distress and scard feeling they had of losing there new baby. But I wanted MY baby, I should of NEVER let her go. So decision was made. I called the lawyer and he gave me the time and place to go get my baby. I don't think I have to tell you how devasating the meeting was talking thru tears and packing all the baby stuff up they had bought and let me have. The family hugged me and told me they understood and wished me well. (Godbless them for there strength, they were wonderful people and yes I heard they had a adoption sucess down the road) That experience taught me, that maybe fate knew I didn't want to give up my baby. I have always wondered about how the paper work was "lost". It was sealed and place in the mail before my eyes. I knew when I left that hospital I would never see my baby again. Yet 8yrs later she is here being a pest to her brother and sisters. ;-)Well I guess blogging might be my thing after all, look I've dam near wrote a book. Well if you decide to follow my beware....I am random, off topic, never in order, and funny, and well....jus me.