What a Moring

Okay so....were do I start.....
Muffin slept in which was wonderful. I woke up when I felt her trying to get her nip and snuggled in closer. I'm thinking this is a good day. I shot out a few tweets and read some timelines.
In our wonderful warm bonding moment I started to smell only what could describe as hot garbage. I'm thinking... really, she still nursing....don't she know what she has done. I torn between unlatching her and changing her or letting her finish eating and we suffer the smell together.
Well, she was really eating and not pacifying herself as she does sometimes. Okay skip it...go on finish eating (with the thinking Ill just lay her and be back up to change her in 30min)...Because I still get sleepy when she nurses I ended up dozing. Bad idea. I woke up a hour later, Muffin was still sleep. I go to get up and I can see the smear of doo-doo up on her stomach.
Head to the bathroom and run her tub. I already knew that's mess was not wash up worthy. Then comes the hard part. How in the hell do I take the t-shirt off with out having doo-doo smudge her face and hair. *think quick* I just cut the t-shirt off. Yes I did. I wiped off as much as I could and got her in the tub. I breathed a sigh of relief and started to wash her up. Not even 5mintues in the clean up....I hear a bubble rumble...horrified..I think no....she wouldn't....I lift and yes she did....doo-doo in her bath water. HOLY SHYT I'm alone...I really needed some one to hold her while I dump water, cause now she dripping wet of shit. SMH...All the while Muffin is trying to grab the at the poop and fussing cause she can have it. So I just decide its do or die....I make a mad dash and put her in her bouncer she I'm sure is laced with pins, and glass cause she still screams bloody murder when goes in it. Sit her in front of the bathroom door and get the tub dumped and start running her bath. As the water is filling I decide to just wash her up while it filling so I can be done. Takes all of 15minutes to get her all cleaned up, greased up, and smelling good, dressed to the teeth with no were to go. Now she wide awoke...I'm starving and she is hungry too. Eggs, toast for Muffin and same thing for me just add sausage. Lesson for me.....if Muffin is sleep....she will be changed. That was just too much drama before 12noon.