Topsy Turvy

Me and Muffin use to be on good schedule of bedtime. Like clock work she use to nurse around 9pm and be sleep....dead sleep by 10pm. Maybe she would wake up to nurse around 3am but only for about 10min...by us co-sleeping & breastfeeding she never would fully wake up. So always that was win-win. However....she is staying up longer and nursing more. The nursing more thing seems backwards to me. *scratches head* Nonetheless our routine is all topsy turvy in the worst way. She is falling off to sleep at 1130pm/12am and waking up at some ole whack hour of 2, 3,4am for a 15min snack....Really?... I have turned over with my back to her and I will feel her trying suck at my back. Or my favorite standing up beating in the head in the dark till I turn over. LOL at such a bossy lil baby. I'm sure what's going but I need us to get back on track. But truth be told...I love sniffing her and cuddling. Thinking...I better enjoy these moments long as I can. Right?..

Mayim Bialik: Women Don’t Need To Fear Their Bodies & Birth

Mayim Bialik: Women Don’t Need To Fear Their Bodies & Birth

0 to Shit in 60 seconds

I try really hard to fucking understand a ex's thinking. I told him I wanted him to drop DD off at chuckie cheese and to bring his girlfriend DD as well. Okay. So why would you assume I wanted you to drop your GF's DD off and then I had would need to take her back home. No. That's not what I had plans to do. I'm not even going that way back home. I expected you to come to chuckie cheese, for at least 45min..(longer if y'all wanted)....or just long enough so your girlfriend's daughter could have a cupcake and a slice of pizza. Then both y'all go back home when y'all was ready. So why the attiude cause I don't want to drop her back home. All you had to say was when I first let you know about chuckie cheese (yesterday)  was I can drop our DD off but unless you can bring my girl's DD home she can't come cause I don't wanna stay for the party. Then all be cool. But no, when I told him I can't drop her off he immeditaly tripped. Ill bet his stupid ass was showing off for his girlfriend who might of been sitting near him while we was on the phone. Plus now you got our DD upset thinking I'm being mean to her friend cause now she can't come. But as a mama, I know how to handle my DD and squash all that nonesense case I tell her the truth. I don't have a problem with my ex girlfriend DD. She is a nice lil girl. Its just I'm not heading back that way. But on some real shit I don't HAVE to give a explanation. No, not really. However if he was (showing off) if that was the case I don't fucking know why. We been broke up almost 6yrs now. I don't want him. I deal with him regarding our DD and that's been all. So of course I shot him quick few, 2 or 3, "fuck you and your high horse you rode in on" text messages. Seriously he sent me from 0 to Shit in attiude in 60 seconds. Now I got to go make some Eggo Waffles and bacon to calm the fuck down, so I don't get my mace and assult his retina soon as I pull up to pick up my DD. ~toodles~

Diaper Bags, Potty Training... the last HooRahh!

When I found out I was pregnant I was shocked. My kids were 17,15 and 8. All it took was one slip up of the mighty ovary protectors and boom boom bam. I was 3months along when I got confirmation there really was a bambino doing flips in there. For whatever reason I have always had my periods with my pregnacies and with all 4, I found out when I was 3 to 4 months along. There was mixed emotions of sadness and joy. Sadness because I was at the end of "road" so to speak. My kids are at they age were they required less. They all can cook. They all can wash there clothes. They all can set out and iron there school clothes. And my favorite...no need for a sitter. Of course the 8yr old was never alone, the older sibs watched her. But I could go to the show, or kareoke with out making plans or worrying about any1 while I was gone. They all woke themselves up for school. I mean here I was pregnant starting from fucking scratch. I just was like, fuck. Joy however and a touch of excitement kicked in cause I was growing a person who was looking like a lima bean and would eventually get to the size of a watermelon and lodge its feet in my ribs for the last 2months of my pregnancy. So basically I settled into the idea and got ready to do the "mommy thing" all over. Now came the hard part...telling my kids I was pregnant. Oh and my family. Did I mention my friends. My friends who still to this day can't believe I had baby and she 1yrs old. Today in fact. I will say my decision to breastfeed made a world of a difference from my previous pregnancies. I got some sleep. Not getting up to heat a bottle on the stove was very different. Since I was more rested I was able to cuss out baby daddy with much more vigor and umph. For the most part being a new mom (don't laugh If I think cause my youngest being 8yrs makes me able claim new mom status) has been crazy and I've loved every mintue of it. Who wouldn't love giving your baby a bath just as you get ready to rinse her off she poops. You don't notice it right away until go and rinse her off you smear doo doo all over her from under the bubbles. Yes, yes, those are moments I live for. Yes I when I found out I was pregnant I was shocked, scared, overwhelmed and excited all in one...and I'm happy the end result got me a chubby cheeks sweet kissy face Muffin.

Sweet 16 can still be sweet...*whn you post pushing a basket spell check loses*

My daughter turned 16 today. She is excited and I think for some reason she may have had a revelation of some sort. It might just be me but she seems to walk a lil different, hold her head a lil different, her voice seems a lil different. Maybe its just me seeing things. I look back on when I was 16. I remember thinking I was the shit. I aint gonna lie. Every pic I took I always had the "swear to god" pose. Yes I swore to god I was looking good. I can even recall my favorite outfit. Red tight as I could get them without my mama kicking my ass jean, a red shirt, red belt, red and white shoes. LOL I looked just like a tomatoe. But if you asked me back then....baby I was swearing to god that I was the cutest thing alive and I had the biggest but. I proudly wore the title of donkey butt. Me and my best friend Mo skipped school and went to coney island and shared wing dings and chili cheese fries. *halo crooked and cocked to the side* Maybe I have started down memory lane and relived a moment I know I cant get back but thats what I want my daughter to do. Have a moment to look back on and no regrets by making bad choices. Yes I skipped school to add 1000 calories to my diet but the kids these days skip school to add a baby to there life or vd. I dont want to be a kill joy but I want my daughter to continue being a teen and living a teen life. I want her to look back on her sweet 1 and kno that she lived as a kid and didnt grow up to soon. Okay im done. Toodles!

All in a Days Work...or Off Day

I cant sing my coffee's praises enough. Especially on a day like today, I swear if just eases the pain..so to speak. I am suppose to go to work today but I have a appointment with FIA and that always take a few hours. Its really a dam shame how slow the Department of Human Services is. Usually I wont have Muffin but because Im off I just dont want to drop her off. I like it when we hang out. As usual I am dismayed at how crowed Mcdonalds was and why oh why they just refuse to give me 10 sugar 6 dam cream. You already know I drove back around and got my desired packets to make my coffee moment be sublime. Oh and If your thinking about my previous post and the coffee mishap...no darlings, my coffee was in its cup holder seated very carefully directly next to my Epic4G. Ha! take that dashboard..LOL...You do know if I had spilled coffee on my phone I would had a dam heart attack. Im so joking about my coffee being by my phone, I dont shit that shit my "baby". Well Im gonna about to finish up my coffee before I go in. Holding a baby, purse, paper work and coffee is setting me up for total failure. I can just feel it in my bones. ~toodles~

My BUCKET list....2 be continued

Ah the "Bucket List"

Well I can say I have a list and I am slowy working towards a few things on that list before I make my exit.

1. Hit the Mega Millions and PowerBall also the Daily3 & 4 midday and evening with all the numbers matching.

2. Dont have a heart attack from #1

3 .Remake the love scence in Desperado add one lil touch, being spanked with the gee-tar. ;-)

4. Slap the shit out my granny if she ever put 20 bucks in a cashiers check for my 11month old and ask me to put her carseat in her car so she can take Muffin to bank and "cash" her own check.

5. Always remember my granny is crazy and just hug her.

6. Make a time machine to go back in time and take back my orgasims back from the assholes who recived them and turned out to be fucking liars, habitual liars, and wasted time after years of being together.

7. Charge 99.99$ for the time machine I build and offer a free one when "you act now and be the 100th caller" like I see on tv.

8. Make a majic wand to tap people who offer unsolicted advise on the forhead and instantly shut down there vocal cords a hour for every letter of the word of the advise they gave without me asking and being a bitch for trying to put me down lowkey.

9. Sell these majic wands for 1.00 on Ebay

10. Cuss a little more. It just really feels good sometime when you want to release some steam. Lets try it now for practice. FUCK! yep I like.

11. Create a pills that allows babies to skip the terrible 2's,.......skip the the first boy/girl friend I totally love only them Im going to die since they broke up with me *sigh*

12. Shoot whoever created "let there be pee when I sneeze"

13. Be the first to create complete "hot n ready" dinner meals in less than 5 mintues. Screw you Little Ceaser.

Ill end here for now. Please feel free to share some of your bucket list.

I have one just like you

I was browsing some of the social networking sites I have joined and got a little irritated. It may just be me but I didn't know there existed communities of moms who have sects they are joined in. What I mean by that is.....I had never heard of moms being put against each other because of the choice they make in parenting. I'm sure this has been touched on by many blogger before my newbie behind ever thought about blogging. I have seem the formula feeding moms verses the breastfeeding moms.....the cloth diaper moms verses the disposable diaper moms......the yes I circumcision moms verses the HELL NO non circumcising moms.....the pierce the girls ears moms verses the don't pierce the girls ears mom......the vaccinating moms verses the non vaccinating moms.....gay verses straight.....the stay at home moms verses the partime/fulltime working moms....I'm sure Ive forgot some "verses" but you get the idea. What promoted this post was the down right nastiness that can come from disagreeing about any of the above on various sites. And then it hit my front door. In the last 2 months I received a few mean emails about me having formula feed Muffin and breastfeeding. They stated they don't see how I was hired to be a Breastfeeding Peer Counselor for WIC and I'm fake. At first I was pissed and going to go off but maturity won out. Which is rare when you insult me. Hey I'm a work in progress. But anyway I deleted the emails and realized that what they said was there OPINION. A opinion is a voice we all have and are allowed to voice and share. Freedom of speech right?...right. However I am a believer in you get more flies with honey than with vinegar. Meaning, If you approach a subject you either disagree with or agree with its OKAY to be feel passionate about how you feel and want to share with the world and possibly change peoples minds about certain subjects but you CAN NOT BELITTLE AND NAME CALL AND DEGRADE the other person for believing what they feel whether it agrees with you or not. That shit is not cool. I don't ever try to MAKE someone believe what I feel just cause I feel my way is correct. I'm allowed to make my own informed decision about any subject matter I want to. Majority rule don't move me....what the majority believe is not always what I believe. Oh well...that's me and how I feel. I'm just saying I think you tear moms down when this happens and as a mom myself I think moms online should feel okay with stating there opinion without being verbally harassed. Seriously the way I have seen some speaking to other moms..(smh)..I just think that if it were in person the "tone" would be a whole lot softer. I guess seeing as the Internet is the choice for verbal bullying people like that will continue to hide behind a screen. Maybe 2011 will show a change.

3 Times??? Really??? In One Day...smh

Today just was not Muffin's day. I woke up after 4hrs of sleep after all the shooting around 4am, to find myself trying to catch my baby as she fell off the bed and hit the floor. Checked her over and she was fine. I got us back to sleep and woke up with what seemed as a good day in store. So I get the family ready to go visit our folks and enjoy some ritual black eye peas, rice, greens, ham hock, neck bones, yams, roast, and cornbread. Dessert was simple yet delish a few cheesecakes topped with either lemon, cherry, or strawberries. Muffin was enjoying herself doing her Frankenstein stroll thru house and running person to person being picked up and tossed around with glee. Without notice a bam and a cry was heard and yes she had hit her head on the table. Okay that's twice. WTF. I know accidents happen and babies tumble but she was just doomed today I guess. So I start to put the dishes up helping out in the kitchen and I see Muffin trailing behind her sister and I continue doing what I'm doing. Thirty minutes past and just when I realize I haven't heard her baby babble or the heavy sound of her stomping around I hear the the loudest dam BAM! I hear her cry and immediately rush toward her cry and she was at the bottom of the stairs trying to stand up. My heart fucking stopped. Did she fall all the way down the stairs?....No she didn't.....she tried to climb the first 2steps and fell down them. BUT STILL...that was her 3rd dam fall or bump today.....really WTF....What I had assumed was my baby was with her sister and she wasn't. She had spent 15mintues wandering around in a few rooms, made it to the stairs and I felt like SHIT. How had I not paid attention to my baby....how did I make the assumption her sister had her without double checking....that's not what a mom does. I thought about what could of happen and was in tears. I just kissed the shit out of her and hugged her to pieces. Surprisingly she didn't cry but 5 minutes or so and was back playing. Baby's are durable uh? Well durable or not, I will be paying extra attention to her. When I'm visiting I will become that mom who says every five minutes, were is the baby if she is not in my view, regardless of who is around. Some of you may read this and say I'm a fuck up for not making sure from jump she was with her sister or at least someone before I started to put the food up.....well I say to that....no, let me say to Muffin...mommy is SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Is there any else who had one of those days it just seemed your LO went bump bump all day long?