My Hybrid-Baby

I never in a million years thought I would be 36 and have a 7month old baby. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be so passionate about breastfeeding way before my muffin was born. All of three of my older kids were fomula feed. They were all on ProSobee...threw up the Enfamil left and right. With my oldest who is 17...I tried to breastfeed him...it only lasted 2weeks and maybe out of that two weeks a straight 3days...my 15yr old I again tried for 2 weeks and it was a very flighty effort.....with my 8yr old 2weeks again. I can vivdly remember everyone dissing breastfeeding and being negative. Young minded, I didn't try to reasearch anything on breastfeeding. In the hosptial with each of my previous births the nurses weren't pushing the breastfeeding either. I heard get your rest here's a bottle some daddy can feed the baby while you sleep....shame on them now that I think back on it.....jumping to 2010, my good friend Tina who is 27 had, had her first baby and exclusively breastfeed for 8months then hand expressed every bottle when she returned back to work. I was IMPRESSED. She use to say, girl jus try it...its so much healthier and the bonding and closeness contributes to the babies growth and health as well. *sidenote* my 3 formula babies and me had a wonderful bond as well, I never propped a bottle and left my baby alone to feed. I always enjoyed there snuggling against me and playing in there hair. So I don't take her statement as to make me think a formula feed baby won't bond and feel the closeness. *end sidenote* So as I got futher along in my pregnancy I found out another good friend of mine name Mishy was preggors and this was her first and she was going exclusively breastfeed as well. I was more excited because I had not seen any black woman breastfeeding or even heard of any black woman breastfeeding.  So on my next WIC appt I asked about breastfeeding and would there be someone available to assit me should I have questions. They assured me and gave me the number of the breastfeeding advocate to call. Around my 8month I called her so that I could get with her and do whatever was needed to be prepared. Considering I was going to be a new mom to breastfeeding I thought I had to "prepare" or something. I remember buying disposable breastpads, cream for the just incase tender nipples. I was blessed with a double breast pump, and I'm forever thankful to her for that. Now let's fast forward to delievery day. I have muffin and she checked over and weighed and I remember thru the haze I said more than once I want to breastfeed and I was nervous...let the lactation consultant know I neededher. After a few mintues they hand her me, and of course I'm shocked and amazed at how precious and beautiful she was and that I was determined to be the only sole source of nourishment she would get for about 12months..( I know your saying, good grief woman she was baby #4, well each birth is always unique and new and still very much overwhelming) okay back to story....so I put her to my breast and she totally hurt my nipple cause she was on wrong as hell. Of course I wasn't sure of what I was doing...all the youtube videos I watched did not ring a bell. I got the nurse and told her I was having trouble....she dismissed me with jus keep at and you will get it, Ill let the LC know you need her. Well that night came and no LC and her dad was like she hungry you gotta feed her, so I gave her a bottle. I got the nurse again who said the LC is coming. She seemed